Around the World (Showcase)

‘You don’t seem like the Disney type.”

“DUDE. Have you never been to Epcot?”

There ain’t no tea cups or castles here. Epcot is a pleasure palace of booze and food. The only thrill ride here is the one your liver is going to take as you drink your way Around the World.

I don’t know who first invented or attempted the challenge of stopping in each of the eleven “countries” in Epcot’s world showcase and having an alcoholic drink per stop, but I salute them! Let’s be friends. Personally I have attempted this journey twice in my adult career and can attest that it is a grand time to be had. So if you haven’t had the opportunity, please join me and Mike as we circumnavigate the globe!

France | 11:00 a.m.

The first rule of DATW (Drink Around The World) is to carb up. There are lots of places to grab breakfast here but don’t even bother with anything that’s not Paris. Les Halles Boulangerie-Patisserie has a multitude of mouth-watering options from quiche to croissants to dozens of pastries I can’t even begin to recall. Plus, this is the best coffee in the park. Forget the Starbucks, you can go to Starbucks any other day of your life. Today you dine like royalty.

Christina: Pain du Chocolat and Espresso
Mike: Croissant, Parfait aux Fruits, and a Latté

Mexico | 12:00 p.m.

At high noon we strolled into La Cava de Tequila, sallied up to the bar, and asked to be filled with tequila. Like you do. I love that the Mexico pavilion is mostly indoors. If you’re here on a hot day, this is the perfect place to cool off and watch drunk tourists try on giant sombreros. ¡Salud!

Christina: La Llorona (Tromba blanco tequila, ilegal mezcal, LeJay cassis, vermouth rouge, vinaigrette reduction, Fernet Branca, rhubarb bitters)
Mike: El Diablo (altos reposado tequila, muddled jalapeños and cumbres, fresh lime juice, agave nectar with hibiscus salt rim.

Germany | 1:30 p.m.

Hallo and Willkommen! You have two options upon arriving in Germany’s Weinkellar: fine wine or delicious beer. Last time I was here I chose wine, so this time I chose beer. Death to American IPAs, long live German beers! Prost!

Christina: Erdinger Weisbier Dunkel
Mike: Würzburg Hofbräu Pilsner

There was also a cheese plate I reflexively ordered. Everything was lovely. Everyone was lovely. I could have in Germany stayed here all day.

Italy | 2:05 p.m.

And then just like in real Europe, an hour later we were in a different country. While wandering around the St. Mark’s square in miniature, Mike found a Prosecco cart. I believe there’s also a wine shop here, but we didn’t make it that far. Salute!

Christina: Prosecco
Mike: Prosecco

Break time! We hit pause on the booze cruise and meandered through Japan for a bit. It’s really beautiful and the koi ponds are a nice spot to relax and reflect on all the good choices you’ve made in life that resulted in you being in this exact spot on this perfect day with an awesome person.

There’s a Japanese pop culture museum here and I found Tom Nook from Animal Crossing in one of the displays.

America | 2:30 p.m.

Why is this even a stop? Why is there an America in America? Why did we buy American beer like we’ve never had the opportunity before? At least give us Ireland or something.

Christina: Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Ale
Mike: Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Ale

These are two people have a very good time. Midday we race back over to the other side of Epcot and hit up Mission: Space (Orange mission all the way) and Soarin’ (best ride in Epcot, hands down). Test Track is closed for refurbishment, sadly. Perhaps next time.

Canada | 3:30 p.m.

Back to DATW! Our internal clocks are sufficiently broken here so anytime is meal time. Most restaurants were jam-packed, so on a fluke we tried Canada and walked right into a spectacular yet cozy underground dining experience at Le Cellier. I think people forget about Canada or underestimate it.

For our appetizer, we shared a delectable Canadian cheddar cheese soup. For entrées, I chose the seared duck breast, with duck confit, celery root purée, ricotta dumplings, globe carrots, baby turnips, pearl onions, and duck jus) and Mike selected the New York strip steak with truffled fingerling potatoes, chimichurri, and crispy onions.

Christina: Ottawa Apple (Crown Apple Maple Whisky, Apple Infusion, and Cranberry Juice)
Mike: Manhattan

Norway | 5:30 p.m.

We did not ride Frozen. We did visit the viking museum, purchase Icelandic beer, and shout skål.

Christina: Einstök
Mike: Einstök

Japan | 6:30 p.m.

After passing through England, China, and Morocco, we return to Japan just as the sun sets and Epcot shifts into night time mode. Children begin to dwindle and adults begin to hit fifth gear on party mode, ourselves included. Kanpai!

Christina: Violet Sake
Mike: Regular Sake

After a full tour of the World Showcase, Mike and I made our Shopping Lap for all the purchases we planned earlier in the day. In Germany I purchase a few hand painted, hand blown glass Christmas ornaments. In China I purchase a beautiful silk fan and Mike procures a wooden hammer for back massage. In Japan I successfully talked myself out of a lot of Sailor Moon and Hello Kitty merch. I may or may not have purchased a giant bag of Matcha flavored Kit-Kats.

France, Part Deux | 7:30 p.m.

Laden with purchases and all the pressed pennies we could fit in our fanny packs, we found ourselves back in France again. I lingered in both perfume boutiques for what seemed ages and tried on at least seven fragrances. Bless Mike for putting up with me. Eventually I pried myself away from the Guerlain counter and we popped back into the Boulangerie for dessert. And one last impulse buy: champagne. Santé!