Sephora Play! Iconic Edition

A notification from my Sephora app popped up on my phone last week: I was invited to order a limited edition Sephora Play! box containing high-end luxury beauty samples. The contents were shrouded in mystery and the box was offered only to VIB Rouge members (the top tier of a rewards system for those who spend way too much money on shit they could probably live without). Naturally, I bought it on impulse. This is exactly how you wind up becoming VIB Rouge.

Twenty dollars and three days later, I unpacked a little black box and opened a metallic gold zipper bag to find nearly $100 worth of super-sized luxury samples. Here are the contents and my reviews of each.

Sephora Play Iconic Edition June 2017

La Mer
The Moisturizing Soft Cream | $85-$310

When they said luxury box, they really meant it. At $170 an ounce, La Mer is one of the most expensive skincare brands on the market. Invented by an aerospace physicist and beloved by movie stars, it is full of seaweed and Vaseline, signifying nothing (except, perhaps an excellent marketing department). The ingredients are basic as you can get (seaweed extract, mineral oil, Vaseline, glycerin, lime extract, plant oils, plant seeds, minerals, vitamins, thickening agents, and preservatives). The packaging is a generic plastic tub covered with a sticker. And yet, the price tag suggests there are miracles on the horizon.

There are not. This cream will not deliver untold magic upon your face. It will not turn back time. It will not revive you from the dead, nor imbibe your skin with the virginal glow of youth. It will simply moisturize in a sufficiently adequate manner. A $15 jar of CeraVe from the CVS on the corner near your house will do the exact same thing and it even comes in the exact same plastic tub. That said, my little sample jar (worth $40 alone) is awesome and I feel extra fancy for slathering rich-people cream all over my body. As it absorbs into my skin, I can almost feel the bubbling glee of the manufacturers who fleece the affluent right out of their designer wallets. I will use up every last drop of this cream. Then I will go buy a drugstore lotion and my skin will not know a switch has been made.

Yves Saint Laurent
Rouge Volupté Shine Oil-In-Stick Lipstick | $37

My first thought when I popped the cap off of this lipstick was “WHOA.” It looked violently pink. Day glow pink. I love bright lip colors but this one could have gone too Barbie. However I tossed reservation aside and gave it a go anyway. I am super glad I did. It’s actually semi-sheer! The color on the tube is a bit jarring, but on the lips it’s a beautiful ripe strawberry pink. Consistency-wise, it’s butter soft and deliciously slippery to wear, like the oil in the name suggests. I loved it immediately.

YSL Rouge Volupté Shine Oil-In Lipstick in Bright Strawberry Pink

I’d actually call this a lipgloss/lipstick hybrid. The consistency is close to the Fresh Sugar lip tints, if you’ve tried those, but with much more vibrancy. And did I mention it's hydrating? My lips were still moisturized even after I removed the lipstick at the end of the night. 10/10, would absolutely buy a full-sized lipstick. Maybe two.

Guerlain
L’Or Pure Radiance Face Primer | $72

Guerlain’s makeup primer is everything you expect from Guerlain: gorgeously packaged, luxurious to the touch, and priced for those fly in first class on the reg. If you lift the glass vial up to the light, you can see actual flakes of gold floating in the crystalline serum. Like a snow globe of decadence in suspended animation. It’s both insane and beautiful.

I test drove it underneath Marc Jacobs Genius Gel foundation to see if it delivered on its promise. I don't typically wear full coverage foundation, but for this I wanted to put it through its paces. First thing to note is that L'Or is a water-based primer. That's ideal for me, since silicone-based primers don't seem to mesh with my skin very well. Next, this stuff absorbs fully and immediately (unlike silicone which sits on top of skin). No tacky feeling or wait time.

The little flecks of gold are barely perceptible, but I can see a few if I turn just so in the light. So don't worry about becoming a disco ball of glitter. This is subtle. And there's no real benefit here, it’s more of a marketing novelty than a feature. All in all, it wears beautifully. My foundation went on smooth and without flaking. It stayed put four hours, never sliding off my nose or creasing in my fine lines. And there was zero irritation from the gold flakes, unlike my stomach lining when I used to do shots of Goldschläger back in college.

So, Guerlain’s L’Or is fantastic makeup primer that no one in or under my tax bracket ever need to purchase. There are fantastic water-based primers out there that perform the exact same at half the price tag (Smashbox Photo Finish Primer, $36 for example). Guerlain will never be a must-have for my makeup table, but if you have the means and want to splurge on something silly and luxurious, then this is a fabulous product.

Burberry
Cat Lashes Mascara | $30

When I think of Burberry, I think of ugly brown plaid and fancy trench coats that cost more than my monthly rent in a Boston luxury apartment. I tend to forget they’re also a cosmetics retailer. A few years ago I sampled their foundations, but since I couldn’t find a good color match (does it come in Morticia Addams pale?), I never gave them a second thought. Huge thank you to Sephora for reminding me of their line and sending me the mascara to try. It is quite good.

I’d say this is a solid middle weight in terms of volume. Nothing quite like the punch of my favorite Stila Huge Extreme Lash or Benefit’s They’re Real, both of which give the appearance of wearing thick, false lashes. But Burberry’s mascara delivers a decent amount of plump and length in a fantastic formula. Zero clumping and zero flaking. No spider lashes. Neither a goopy stickiness nor a thin, watery consistency with a super long dry time. And no heavy feeling that weighs down your lashes. I actually couldn’t feel it at all, it was virtually weightless.

A second coat isn’t necessary but I applied one anyway just to test the buildable factor. You can definitely layer this and get a thicker lash if you desire. Whereas some formulas will get hard and crusty, this stuff stays flexible. Another plus. Finally, the wand is slim and plasticky, which I prefer over the fat bristle brushes because I can get in really close to my lid without brushing mascara everywhere. All in all, a great mascara. I might consider buying the full size if I wanted to splurge. Otherwise, I’m still knee-deep in mascara samples and haven’t needed to purchase any in almost three years because of Beauty Box subscriptions. #YaySamples!

Tom Ford
Black Orchid | $72 - $137 for EDT
A truly great perfume will be structured so that the individual notes slowly open and develop over the course of a day, like a flower revealing its petals. The top notes come first, introducing the scent and setting the mood. The middle notes begin blooming after an hour or so as the perfume warms on your skin. The base notes linger at the end of the day like soft memories fading into sunset.

Black Orchid does not have time to fuck around like that. It delivers everything all at once, in one heady punch. That’s great news if you don’t like perfumes changing on you as you wear them. But to me it feels less elegant to me because everything becomes muddled. Delicate notes that may have complimented one another (like jasmine and citrus) are drowned out by heavier notes (like chocolate). Then if you add in something like patchouli blasting at the same volume, it’s olfactory chaos. You can’t appreciate the harmonies created by scent accords if they’re all fighting for attention simultaneously.

In Black Orchid, white florals of jasmine, ylang ylang, and gardenia form a nice grouping. Apparently there’s actual orchid too but I can’t discern it at all. The citrus notes include lemon, orange, bergamot, and black currant. Also nice, but maybe just two would have sufficed? In addition to this, there’s a heavy hand of spices. And before you can determine if it’s cinnamon or cloves or cardamom, you’re hit with a heaping mass of chocolate. Not a slight suggestion of cocoa, a full-on Willy Wonka sucker punch. With that still flooding in, a pungent cloud of sour patchouli follows quickly, with sandalwood, vetiver, amber, and vanilla trailing in its wake. Not listed is the weird Vapo-rub menthol note I’m getting. What is that?

Yeah, it's a weird perfume. A literal kitchen sink of scent. And on a last note, Black Orchid is a projection beast. Everyone within a 30-foot radius will be aware of your presence. Wear with caution and maybe avoid small, crowded spaces if you can. My rollerball sample will go up for adoption this week, to my coworkers (or possibly you, if you're reading this) who might be into hella loud gourmand fragrances.

Dior
Poison Girl | $60-$100

On the opposite of the spectrum is Dior Poison Girl. The original Poison perfume (1985) is a classic. It’s a dark, plummy, smoky, and floral. Heady would be an accurate term here. It’s a very seductive scent for a woman who confidently owns her sexuality. Poison Girl, by contrast, is the declawed, safe-for-work version marketed to the not-a-girl but not-yet-a-woman crowd.

I’m decidedly not in that target market at 37, but I can appreciate Dior crafting a set of perfume training wheels for young ladies who want to wear something more sophisticated than a Bath and Body Works mist without feeling too sophisticated that they start to feel like they’re becoming their mothers already. Poison Girl is that perfect middle ground. Youthful but not wholly innocent. Flirty and carefree, with a Snapchat floral crown filter and a winking kissy emoji on top.

The hot pink perfume opens with fresh fruity notes of orange and lemon, paired with a classic feminine rose (which is also hot pink, in my mind). Then come the middle notes straight from the bake shop: sugared almonds, sweet vanilla, and warm tonka bean. The base notes are similar to the original: sandalwood, heliotrope, and cashmere, but notably lacking the amber and raw, animalic musk that made Poison the classic it became back in 1985. In its place, Dior Girl plies you with sticky sweet caramel. Too sweet for me, but I know a younger friend who would adore this, and will be getting a surprise package in the mail. I'll put a pink bow on it for her.

Last but not forgotten, we have the Play Book. Just look at this hella fancy print job. Flashy gold foil on black felt laid paper. There's even a shimmery metallic gold vellum fly sheet inside. [Graphic Design High Fives]

Inside there's a full spread dedicated to each of the samples, a painfully reductive quiz to help you determine which of the four (and only four) fashion categories you fall into (or out of) according to Sephora, tips for how to be "iconic" that seem more generic that anything (sleek ponytails), and a place for you to inscribe your name in the back, just like you did in first grade!

Overall Thoughts
I loved it. Even if the perfumes didn’t hit the mark with me, I enjoyed the rest of the samples thoroughly. Each item offered several weeks (perhaps even a month’s) worth of use. The lipstick convinced me to maybe buy a full-sized and the mascara will be used every single day until it runs out. I absolutely got my money’s worth here and I had fun testing out stuff I'd never otherwise drop money on.