Quarantine: November 2020

We officially have lemons! Beyonce is ripening and we have harvested our first batch of Meyer Lemons. They are beautiful and smell amazing. And now comes the really fun part of planning what sort of things we will cook and bake with them.

And we had another cheese plate. This one featured handmade raspberry jam that we bought at the Wayside Inn farmers market and cheeses from a local cheese shop in Wellesley we just discovered and are now generously supporting. We will single-handedly keep them from going out of business.

What else happened this month? Mike got an at-home haircut. Here’s the before and after. Mine is still growing without any sort of trimming. I expect to reach Crystal Gayle levels by 2021 at this rate.

And we continue to stay home, locked down tight except for grocery runs and essentials. The number of COVID cases are steadily rising again. I think people are just tired of quarantining and have decided to be done with it all, even though we still don’t have a vaccine. And schools are open with in-person learning so I’m sure that’s a hot zone. And all the Halloween parties that happened against warnings. And I know people are going to have big Thanksgivings too, because eight months of a pandemic has shown that people will do whatever the hell they want to, virus be damned.

Related to the COIVD spikes, Toilet paper is becoming scarce again, as experts say we are about to expect a massive surge in positive cases again like the Spring. So, instead of hoarding toilet paper we decided to give a bidet a try. Japan and Italy have been on the bidet train for ages, and they seem to know how to live the good life, so why not?

We bought this Tushy Bidet Classic attachment:

It took exactly TWO turns on the bidet to convert me into a raving fan. I thought it would be weird. It was not. It’s exactly like a detachable shower head, that just happens to be in your toilet. The water comes straight from your water line, not the tank or bowl, so it’s clean and room temperature. Definitely not cold (Tushy had a heated model but it wouldn’t fit in our bathroom layout). And you can dial in the pressure, anywhere between gentle and hardcore power wash. Here’s what the dial looks like (you can also toggle between a front and back angle depending on what you want to wash):

Y’all, I am struggling to not run into the streets right now and stop random strangers to ask if they’re heard the good news about bidets. I want to tell everyone how awesome it is. It’s that level of life changing, total pampering upgrade. Just look at the luxuriously soft cloths I’ve switched to! No more rubbing, scrubbing, or sandpapering your backside. Just pat dry with a towel, like after a shower.

The details, if you’re intrigued: The bidet we bought is a little attachment that fits between the toilet and toilet seat, so you don’t have to buy a whole new toilet or call a plumber. It takes maybe 15 minutes to install (remove toilet seat, put attachment on, put toilet seat back on, connect to water line). We paid around $75 for ours because it was an “Instagram brand”, but there are many others on Amazon or at home improvement stores for cheaper. So for us. there’s no going back. All our toilets will become bidets now. I will convert America one person at a time. 10/10, highly recommend.

And now, on to Thanksgiving. What if it was cheese plates? Ones with buttery brie, a cheddar with those crunchy crystals, granny smith apples and cranberry crackers with handmade jams and tiny pepperonis?

You could also add prosciutto, fig preserves, goat cheeses, kalamata olives, and truffled almonds. And pub cheese, because it’s delicious on damn near everything. Long live pub cheese.

And remember, just because you’re downsizing Thanksgiving this year to stay safe, doesn’t mean you have to downsize dessert. Go on and make that whole, full-sized pumpkin praline trifle. They keep in the fridge for days and make for a lovely breakfast. Or afternoon snack. Or post-dinner dessert. Or late night snack.