Staycation at The Parker House Hotel

Continuing the theme of local luxury for my birthday staycation, we checked into Boston's iconic Parker House Hotel. We could have stayed anywhere in the city, but I chose the Parker House for the rich history and because it was famously haunted by lots and lots of dead famous people.

The hotel opened here back in 1855, so it wins the award for "longest continuously operating hotel in the United States." The original building began much smaller as an Italianate-style hotel with five floors Expansion and renovation has resulted in thirteen floors, 551 suites, two bars, and one beautiful restaurant. The lobby features four grand bronzed-plated elevators.

According to legend, Elevator Number One would regularly stop on the 3rd floor without being called or occupied by guests. It did not during our stay, but it was a lovely ride all the same. We took it up to the fourth floor, opened the door to our suite and gazed upon this fine view of the city of Boston:

[sad trombone]

Mike graciously spoke with the concierge explaining how this was a birthday weekend, and that it should ideally not be marred with views of industrial siding, black mold, and roof stains. The concierge provided us with a new set of keys to a room on the fourteenth floor. We rode back up the elevator and entered our new suite to this vastly improved view:

Our room featured exactly one window to look out of and there was a small patch of sky visible in the upper left quadrant of it. The other window was shuttered because the television had been placed over it. We had a Deluxe King, if you're wondering. I do not know which rooms face Boston's Old City Hall or King's Chapel, but if you're planning a stay here, I would call and ask before reserving a room.

Anyway, we didn't plan on staying in the room for long periods of time. After a rest and a refresh, we crossed the street over to King's Chapel for their Valentine's Day themed tour, "Til Death Us Do Part."

The chapel's History Program was offering a special candlelit tour of their basement crypt that explored the history of love, loss, and the customs of laying the dead to rest. I find death and burial customs intensely fascinating from a cultural and social perspective, so I signed us right up.

After a brief above ground tour of the chapel (completed in 1754), our tour guide led us down the stairs below to the twenty one family crypts containing over 150 people.

Twenty of the crypts are sealed shut, but one crypt did have a single brick removed so that one could glance inside and see the interior. The floor directly behind is sunken down. The walls are much wider than what you see outside. And several old steel coffins lay stacked on either side. Some remain intact but a few have rusted at the hinges and collapsed from the weight.

Moss covered skeletal remains lie in a jumbled pile on the floor where they fell who knows how long ago. On the right side of the crypt we viewed, a tiny steel coffin the size of a shoe box sat on top of a stack of three adult coffins. Inside, the remains of a baby are curled up, unaware of the revolution that transpired at the time of it's death.

On a lighter note, the tour concluded with a Q&A session hosted by our guide and I heard one of the dumbest questions I've ever heard on a cemetery/crypt tour. Which is saying a lot. One lady in our group noted that the temperature in the basement crypt was notably warm for February and asked whether this was due to the heat produced by the bodies decomposing. Bodies that have been interred for over 200 years. Bodies that, as we just saw a few moments ago, have long been reduced to bones and dust. Decomposition has finished. Centuries before this lady graced the earth with her brilliant presence.

Back above ground, we tipped our tour guide, bought crypt swag, and returned to the hotel for dinner at Parker's Restaurant. It is gloriously preserved in period detailing. One can almost imagine the Saturday Club meeting here for dinner. Emerson and Longfellow swapping thoughts together over a cheese plate and cocktails.

We gave it a try ourselves. The cheese board consisted of local cheeses, seasonal jam, French bread, local honey, and grapes. Alongside it, a pair of the world-famous Parker House Rolls with butter. They do live up to their reputation. Mike also sampled the French Onion Soup.

For the main course, he went with pan-seared Filet Mignon and I selected the Butternut Squash Ravioli. For dessert, there was no other choice but to have a Boston Cream Pie in the very place where it was invented. It is also the official state dessert of Massachusetts because apparently state desserts are necessary.

After dinner we went on an unguided tour around the hotel. We tried to envision Malcom X as a young busboy running through the kitchen and John Wilkes Booth storing his luggage here before heading to a nearby firing range for a few practice rounds. The amount of history here is staggering.

If you exit the lobby towards School Street, there are a few steps leading back behind the lobby staircase that lead to the hotel gym. And if you walk just past the gym, you'll find a miniature museum housed within the basement hallway filled with artifacts and photos from the hotel's gloried past.

This below, is the door to Charles Dicken's hotel suites which he occupied in 1867. Dicken's toured the US performing A Christmas Carol and sat up a base camp at The Parker House Hotel for the duration of his visit. He performed A Christmas Carol at the hotel as well, and rehearsed it while standing in front of a large, gilded mirror which is now hanging in the elevator bank on the mezzanine level. You can stand, as we both did, in front of the ornate mirror and wonder if Charles Dickens is somewhere in an alternate universe looking back at you.

This same set of suites was also residence to actress Charlotte Cushman, who died of pneumonia in the room in 1876. Her spirit is one of many which are rumored to walk the halls at night.

Another esteemed resident, Ho Chi Minh. During his years of travel abroad, he spent two years as a cook at the Parker House Hotel from 1911 to 1913. The marble counter he worked upon is still in use within the kitchen.

Thomas Jefferson held his birthday party at the Parker House Hotel. He invited Lincoln, but Lincoln declined. The NY Times announcement is archived. it reads:

The Anniversary of the Birthday of THOMAS JEFFERSON was celebrated in Boston on the evening of April 13, by a banquet at PARKER'S. The Hon, GEORGE BOUTWELL presided, and made the opening speech of the evening. He was followed by John P. Hale, Henry Wilson, Carl Schurtz, F. H. Underwood, Attorney-General Philips and others.

John F. Kennedy held his bachelor party here. I'll let your imagination fill in the blanks for that one.

I looked in vain for a current matchbook throughout the hotel, but did not find one. Shame.

Keys, cups, and china patterns throughout the years.

Very glad that spittoons have fallen out of favor with my generation.

I'd love to have sampled Parker House brand coffee. Sadly there is not a gift shop. But there should be. They should be marketing and selling this.

This poem acknowledged the ghosts that were already accumulating in the halls over a hundred years ago.

And one for the design nerds. A print and a plate from the Boston Herald, May 15, 1927.

After the tour, we crashed in our room and slept soundly. No ghostly interruptions.

The next day was a designed to be a sort of drinking crawl. We began with breakfast cappuccinos at Cafe Vittoria, the oldest Italian coffee shop in Boston's North End. It is full of antique coffee making machines and presses and grinders and oddities I cannot begin to understand. Service is excellent. Cinnamon dusting heavy-handed. Cash only. Well worth a visit.

After shopping and meandering about, we lunched at the Green Dragon Tavern, nicknamed the, "Headquarters of the Revolution" because the Boston Tea Party was planned there (original location). Paul Revere also departed from the Green Dragon when he began his famous midnight ride. We merely had Guinness stew paired with Guinness. But it was absolutely fantastic.

As the sun sank below Beacon Hill, we settled into the nearby 21st Amendment pub to toast the appeal of prohibition, ratified on December 5, 1933. Originally it was a men-only bar called the Bellevue Pub, and later, the Golden Dome Pub. Like most things in Boston, it claims that Kennedy visited often and "was even rumored to write speeches by the fireplace in the back."

Maybe one day people will point out that we drank beer there and that my highlighter was on point.

After building a slow, steady buzz, we dropped our bags off at the hotel and want over to Boylston Street for an hour long couples massage. Robin and Zack at Viyada Spa are quite good. Post-tenderizing session, we collapsed into the tiny side bar of Parker's, called The Last Hurrah. The cocktail menu is extensive and the mixologists expert. I had the finest Brandy Alexander of my life there.

We ended the night with take away sushi and champagne in our hotel room, spread out over the bed, watching the Olympics. All in all, a very relaxing sort of birthday.